“Get on. Get off.”

Inglourious Basterds

It continued to “glow” orange, but got dimmer as it moved it’s way across the sky. Then it suddenly stopped moving, and simply stayed in place. It remained there for a period then started fading until it disappeared. It was the strangest thing. As soon as I saw it I called out to Tanya, and she came out and saw it too. We had a lively discussion as to what it could possibly be…. Meteor? Comet? Asteroid? Burning aircraft? I still have no idea.

…and I know what everyone is going to say: “Oh, you saw Santa” or “Maybe it was Baby Jesus shooting across the sky”. Well it wasn’t either of those things…. it was weird, and unidentified, and flying. Not really sure if it was an object tho.

2: Type in “[your name] looks like” in Google search:
Glen looks like a Chinese Paul Giamatti.

3: Type in “[your name] does” in Google search:
Glen does not control any third party website.

4: Type in “[your name] hates” in Google search:
Glen hates her for ruining his dream of the perfect life.

5: Type in “[your name] goes” or “..has gone” in Google search:
Glen goes in for the kill.

6: Type in “[your name] loves” in Google search:
Glen loves his sleep.

7: Type in “[your name] eats” in Google search:
Glen eats Balut.

8: Type in “[your name] has” in Google search:
Glen has moved.

9: Type in “[your name] wants” in Google search:
Glen wants John. …. no I don’t

I’ve ranted about Cogeco before, and about the lack of consumer choice when it comes to cable service. I am forced into an inferior product/service. Please god, let me get Rogers or Shaw or fucking Jimbo’s cable… anything but Cogeco. The sad truth is that in order for me to actually see UFC events, I have NO CHOICE but to illegally pirate them since my legal alternative can’t get their shit together enough to actually deliver me the content I’m WILLING to pay for.

I’m going to have to post on the UFC site saying the same thing. Maybe they can lean on Cogeco enough for those asshats to actually make something work for once.

Fuck.

The first time I heard Black Sabbath was in my buddies car in high school, in 1987, cruising along the South Service Road in Oakville. He put “War Pigs” on and it was a “holy shit” moment.

The first time I heard “Smells Like Teen Spirit” by Nirvana, I was alone, driving to my parents house in Oakville, and was just crossing the train tracks near their house - it was 1991. I remember thinking, wow, this is a pretty unique sound.

I remember exactly where I was the first time I heard Rage Against The Machine. It was late 1992, and I was in the car driving to night school on the QEW, and the DJ on Edge 102.1 announced that she was going to play a new song by a band I’d never heard of. The song was “Killing In The Name Of”. I was completely blown away. I got to class and my head had just exploded into a whole new universe.

The first time I heard “Da Funk” by Daft Punk was in the house I shared with two other dudes, at Trent University in Peterborough in 1995. My roommate Jason and I had just come home from a night of drinking, we smoked a big doobie, and started watching the tube. Suddenly this bizarre video came on. We laughed so hard, but also couldn’t believe how funky it was!

Similarly, the first time I heard “Seven Nation Army” by The White Stripes was while I smoked a joint. Tanya, Bryan and I were at my apartment in Oakville, 2003, and had just sparked the spliff. We were watching videos, when “Seven Nation Army” came on. The video was utterly mind blowing, and the song has one of the most distinctive riffs ever. Totally amazing!

Those few songs are branded into my memory, and will be forever. Those are my songs.

What are yours?

My first crash, I drove into a bridge railing at high speed, and SMASH, I flew right through the windshield, over the bridge railing, into the side of a tall building, and a long fall…. and I survived… for about 2 seconds, until I got hit by a car…. laughed for about 2 minutes…

Loving it thus far.

Putting aside all of the glaring historical inaccuracies for a moment, the film was a by-the-numbers bore. From the script I could have farted out, to the Last of the Mohicans “I’ll find you no matter where” moment, to the ending you could see coming from 10,000 years ago, the film did nothing but disappoint.

And it was so damn cheesy. Wise woman sees trouble coming. Warrior falls in love with pretty maiden. Maiden is kidnapped by evil primitive dudes, but not raped. Warrior chases after maiden. Warrior kills evil guys. Warrior kills evil leader. Warrior frees slave peoples. Warrior saves maiden. Maiden and warrior go home and raise family. Kisses and love and happiness.

Now on to the historical inaccuracies. Domesticated Wooly Mammoths twice their actual size? Metal swords? Huge sailing ships? Handcuffs? Pyramids? Gold, Silver and gem-encrusted jewelry? Saddled, domesticated horses? Chili and corn crops? The list goes on and on. I know it’s just a movie, and it’s not supposed to be historically accurate, but c’mon! If you’re just going to do whatever you want, why not include a guy with a musket? Or Pterodactyls? Or Thor?

Then there’s the other stuff that was just weird and/or infuriating. Like the fact that one of these primitive motherfuckers suggested that the “Evil God” came from another planet… so these guys understand space, planets, and the possibility of extraterrestrial life? Or the fact that the “God”, and leader of the evil bad guys was a fat white man who sort of looked like Darth Vader without his helmet. Then there’s the fact that countless slaves were killed, but when the throng of violent warriors stormed in to the building with all the cowering priests, the action cut away, and no priests were seen getting killed. I guess it’s okay to show the death of regular folks, or gods, but not of priests. Or the fact that a gigantic sabre-toothed tiger would jump into a camp of men, growl, sniff the hero warrior, and then turn around and leave.

All in all, it was a wooly-mammoth sized turd. I give it 1.5 cave paintings out of 50.

I was lucky enough to meet Gary a couple of years ago at a Comicon in Toronto, and get him to sign an early edition of the core D&D rules. Fortunately, I was able to tell him what an impact he’d made on my life, and how much I’d appreciated his work. Was he ever cool.. he was happy to chat, and invited us to come down and game with him in Lake Geneva.

There are few people whose creative visions had such a tremendous impact on my life. I spent countless hours playing not just D&D, but a few dozen other Role Playing Games, that were all spawned from my love of Dungeons & Dragons. Many of the closest friends in my life were met through mutual love of role-playing games.

I’ll never forget playing a host of characters through the original Basic and Expert editions with my buddy Brad - I still have all those old characters. I’ll never forget the YEARS of DAILY gaming sessions I played with Grant, Neil, Q-Tip, Paul, Chris, and a ton of other guys. There are memories of a million great games, tons of memorable characters, hilarious situations, and triumphant moments.

For the last 2 or 3 years, I basically didn’t play any RPG’s. But 3 or 4 months ago, I got invited to play again, and I decided to make time for it. I suddenly feel really good that I spent last Sunday playing D&D… it’s sort of my little tribute to a man who dedicated his life to the pursuit of fun, gaming, and using our minds to make our lives more enjoyable!

R.I.P. Gary!